Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The signs aren't always clear, but you are not alone
I've been thinking about friends and family a lot these days, mostly my mind is filled with questions for God about why they are experiencing the difficult things they are...job loss and umeployment, infertility, general job disatisfaction, flooding of their homes, the deaths of men too young, illnesses that mystify the doctors, depression and anxiety, and on and on the list could go. Most of the time it makes me think my problems seem small in comparison...a car we can't afford to fix, a teething toddler...and other little things like that. Yet, my problems are real ones too, problems that keep me awake at night or awaken me at night. As I was attempting to numb my mind before going to sleep tonight with coupon searches, facebook checks, and online games...this song by Ginny Owens I fell in love with in college popped into my head and heart. The lyrics rock. They are so true, and it brings me comfort and courage to know that I am not alone in this valley...and neither are you my dear friends and family.
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials
Bring me closer to you
Then I will go through fire if you want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world that's not my home
but you never said it would be easy
you only said I'd never go alone
so when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
and I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials
Bring me closer to you
Then I will go through fire if you want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world that's not my home
but you never said it would be easy
you only said I'd never go alone
so when the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
and I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.
Friday, June 27, 2008
The luggage has returned from it's travels
Thank the Lord, NWA came through for me and delivered my baggage on Wednesday. I was about to have to do laundry and brushing my teeth with my travel toothbrush was starting to really annoy me...and then I realized I left my toothbrush in KY. Ugh. Oh well. Apparently they couldn't have it delivered from Fargo to Bismarck, and instead sent it back on the plane from Fargo to Minneapolis and then back to Bismarck. Whatev.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Eva, Eva
I just got back Saturday (minus my luggage, see post below) from a week with my sister, bro-in-law, and new niece Eva (8 wks). It was an awesome time in KY, although I must say that I will not miss those windy roads (ewww car sick) and humidity (holy hair puff!). We got C's house all organized along with other misc. to-do items checked off the never-ending Mommy to-do list...and much to Nathan's shagrin, I even got to go to SONIC! Boo-yah! I'd have to say the highlight of the trip, aside from holding Eva and seeing my sister and bro-in-law as parents, would have to be our trip to the farmers market it Lexington. Wow! It made me realize how much I miss fresh produce up here in sunflower land...they look pretty, but don't taste that great. We tasted this balsamic vinegar from ITALY that cost $35 for this tiny, tiny bottle...and it was soooooooooo good I almost bought it. (Much to Nathan's happiness, the word ALMOST is in there) We also sampled several wines from a KY vineyard at 10am...not a horrible way to start a Saturday!Here's our sweet bundle of joy.
The Green Suitcase
Oh, green suitcase
I miss you so much
Filled with treasures
Clothes, Books, and Gifts galore
So many things I loved.
I wonder what happened
green suitcase
where have you gone
who has kidnapped you
Oh, green suitcase
I miss you so much
What is wrong with NWA
why can't they find you
I wonder what happened
green suitcase
between Fargo and Bismarck
did you disappear
Oh, green suitcase
I miss you so much
Don't be like Amelia Erhart
into the Bermuda Triangle
Come home
my sweet green suitcase
filled with all I love
Hair dryer, crosswards, shoes
Come home
my sweet green suitcase
Come home
I miss you so much
Filled with treasures
Clothes, Books, and Gifts galore
So many things I loved.
I wonder what happened
green suitcase
where have you gone
who has kidnapped you
Oh, green suitcase
I miss you so much
What is wrong with NWA
why can't they find you
I wonder what happened
green suitcase
between Fargo and Bismarck
did you disappear
Oh, green suitcase
I miss you so much
Don't be like Amelia Erhart
into the Bermuda Triangle
Come home
my sweet green suitcase
filled with all I love
Hair dryer, crosswards, shoes
Come home
my sweet green suitcase
Come home
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Too quiet
Okay, so 15 months ago I would have considered this weekend of silence complete bliss...well, actually, four days ago I was considering this weekend to be complete bliss...it was the day before my sweet son (although, very loud and busy son) and my perfect husband (okay, almost perfect) were going to leave for three days for a boys only trip to Iowa for his cousins wedding.
I couldn't go, because alas, it was VBS week (translation: craziest week of the year for me). I was tired from a week of fun with 100+ kids and 40+ volunteers, not to mention the weeks before that of no sleep and crazy long work hours preparing for it...and I was ready (okay, more than ready) to SLEEP IN and not be woken up to shrieks of a starving toddler or the banging of his crib against the wall as he shakes it to alert us he is awake in the mornings. I was ready (okay, more than ready) to have a CLEAN house and not to trip over any more sticking trucks or blocks. I was ready (okay, more than ready) to read a book in the tub without having a toddler banging on the closed door the entire time I was in there. And I was ready (okay, more than ready) to not have to scrub dinner off the floors, walls, etc. after eating.
At 8am Friday morning I sent my boys off down the interstate and promptly went back to bed for 2 hours. I woke up, watched some TV, ate my cereal, and reviewed the latest updates on Facebook...and then, I was done.
After about 5.5 hours of being alone in my house, I was done. It was just too darn quiet. It was too clean. Too peaceful. Too empty. And I was ready (okay more than ready) to be woken up be shrieks, peel dried oatmeal off the wall, and change a poopy...(well, let's not get carried away there).
It's funny the ways being a Mom changes a person. You know it will change you, everyone tells you it will change you, but until it happens to you...well, you just don't know exactly how it will change you.
Sure, I still need and want to escape now and then for a cup of coffee with a friend where we aren't trying to wrestle kids in their seats or feed them Puffs just to keep them from talking while we are, and sure I get annoyed that I buy diapers now instead of new shoes for myself...but for the most part, I'm not sure how to function anymore as a non-mom. It's just become who I am, the natural thing for me to do...and when my son is gone, I scratch my head and discover...
It's just too quiet. I miss my boys.
Come home boys! Come home!
I couldn't go, because alas, it was VBS week (translation: craziest week of the year for me). I was tired from a week of fun with 100+ kids and 40+ volunteers, not to mention the weeks before that of no sleep and crazy long work hours preparing for it...and I was ready (okay, more than ready) to SLEEP IN and not be woken up to shrieks of a starving toddler or the banging of his crib against the wall as he shakes it to alert us he is awake in the mornings. I was ready (okay, more than ready) to have a CLEAN house and not to trip over any more sticking trucks or blocks. I was ready (okay, more than ready) to read a book in the tub without having a toddler banging on the closed door the entire time I was in there. And I was ready (okay, more than ready) to not have to scrub dinner off the floors, walls, etc. after eating.
At 8am Friday morning I sent my boys off down the interstate and promptly went back to bed for 2 hours. I woke up, watched some TV, ate my cereal, and reviewed the latest updates on Facebook...and then, I was done.
After about 5.5 hours of being alone in my house, I was done. It was just too darn quiet. It was too clean. Too peaceful. Too empty. And I was ready (okay more than ready) to be woken up be shrieks, peel dried oatmeal off the wall, and change a poopy...(well, let's not get carried away there).
It's funny the ways being a Mom changes a person. You know it will change you, everyone tells you it will change you, but until it happens to you...well, you just don't know exactly how it will change you.
Sure, I still need and want to escape now and then for a cup of coffee with a friend where we aren't trying to wrestle kids in their seats or feed them Puffs just to keep them from talking while we are, and sure I get annoyed that I buy diapers now instead of new shoes for myself...but for the most part, I'm not sure how to function anymore as a non-mom. It's just become who I am, the natural thing for me to do...and when my son is gone, I scratch my head and discover...
It's just too quiet. I miss my boys.
Come home boys! Come home!
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